太りやすい体は悪いものか? chapter1:自分の体が嫌いだった頃

太りやすい体は悪いものか?

幼稚園までは自分の体に悩むことはなかった。人より太っているとか、劣等感をもったことはなかった。しかしほとんど骨と皮のアイドルやモデルが、「理想」とされ、太っていることが(特に女性の場合)非魅力的どころかだらしない、勉強ができない、女らしくない(あたかも「女らしい」女が最も魅力的であるかのように)と、外側だけで中身まで批判されている内容が目白押しのテレビや漫画、雑誌の影響で、10歳頃には既に自分の体を嫌っていた。更に第二次性徴を迎えて脂肪がつき、体が丸みを帯びてくるとそれは顕著になった。それから高校を卒業するまでは、自分は太く、醜く、人間として尊重に値しないと思い込んできた。そして日々ダイエットをしては挫折して虚しさを友人と愚痴りあった。その頃、私の頭の中には、骨と皮だけじゃない(肉がついている)=醜い、という図式があった。

「痩せ」の賞賛のオンパレードのメディアに日々晒されていれば、ひと…

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「見えない障害者」「invisible disability」についての考察――スプーン理論とは何か(認知度の低い慢性病患者のために)

ああ

こんにちは。最近話す人も対していないのでブログの投稿が捗っている。

長らく「私の斜頚はなぜ診断されないんだ」と騒いできたtinytim。なぜかといえばそれがmpsという慢性疼痛疾患の原因と目されていたからだった。軽度だからと斜頚(筋性)を放置され首のコリ肩の痛みに苦しむひとをたくさんネットでみかけたわけだが、申し訳ないが首の深部の腱にできたmpsの痛みはそれどころではない。とにかく中枢神経の激近にあることも手伝って通常の頭痛どころではない強烈な痛みを十年以上背負ってきた。青春なんてもんはなくただ痛みだけがそこにあった。あまりに小さい頃からだったので、そしてmpsは通常の急性の痛みとは違い深くて鈍く時折鋭いという特殊な形態であったこともあって、私はただの頭痛もちと認識していたしされていた。しかしもし私のような状態を経験したら誰でも緊張型頭痛を何とも思わなくなる。足指の捻挫に気付かないくらい…

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怒りを「使う」ということ――アドラー心理学的負の感情の位置づけ

はじめに:私はアドラー心理学の専門家ではないし、何の資格もありません。ただ、アドラー心理学による子育てを受け、多少それに関する本を読んだただの素人です。これから書くことは参考程度にしてください

アルフレッド・アドラーは今から一世紀ほど前、フロイトやユングと同時期に存在した心理学者だ。岸見一朗さん著の「嫌われる勇気」という書籍を読んだ人なら多少聞きおぼえがあるかもしれないが、ほとんどの人はその存在を知らないだろう。フロイト派が文化によく根差したのに対しアドラーの開発した個人心理学が根付かなかった理由のひとつに、アドラーが残した文献の少なさをあげる人もいる。

古代ギリシアの哲学者たちのように、アドラーは書物を残すことによってではなく、人や弟子たちとの直接のやり取りを通してそのノウハウを広めることを好んだ。その結果、今に残るアドラーが書いた本はあまり多くない。

アドラーの個人心理学とフロイ…

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診断が困難な斜頚の展望

筋性斜頚というのは生まれつき首の片方の筋肉が繊維・腫瘤化し、患部側に首を傾げ、患部と反対側を向いている状態が恒常化する疾患である。斜頚には大きく分けて先天性と後天性があり、また筋肉が固く線維化する筋性斜頚は、筋肉の硬直を伴わないpostural torticollis,眼性斜頚、先天的な脊椎の変形、周辺組織の炎症、痙性斜頚といった後天性斜頚と区別されなければならない。(Outcome of Surgical Treatment of Congenital Muscular Torticollis–Jack,C.Y.Cheng, MBBS; and S.P.Tang,MD)

筋性斜頚では通常腫瘤が患部の胸鎖乳突筋に最初あらわれ、成長と共に消えていくが、この腫瘤がない場合もあり、その場合と、筋肉の拘縮を認めないpostural…

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路上での(主に男性から女性への)嫌がらせ、舌うち、過剰な接近、脅しかけについてとその他もろもろ

今年から大学に入ったので忙しくてすっかりブログを放置してしまっていた。楽しみにしてくださっていた方(いるかどうか分からないけども)ごめんなさい。今回は長らく悩ませられてきた公共空間での男性からの嫌がらせ行為について書きたいと思う。

物心ついたときから、男性と空間を共にすることは不愉快でプレッシャーのかかる経験だった。電車、病院、路上、店などの公共空間で、私は常に男性から嫌がらせに遭ってきたし、今もそうだ。まっとうで品がある男性には非常に申し訳ないが、”男性から”と言うのには理由がある。それは、男性からしか嫌がらせを受けないからだ。日々付きまとわれ悩まされるそれは、必ずしも性的なものではない。性に根ざして嫌がらせが行われていることは明白だが(男性が男性に、私にするような嫌がらせをしているのを見たことがない。”嫌がらせ”とは、例えば舌打ちとか、凝視とか、あからさまな貧乏ゆすりとか、意図的な過…

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chronically--courageous
chronically—courageous:

Illness isn’t always visible or obvious. Sometimes people can look healthy on the outside, but be dying on the inside.
My name is Whitney, and I have battled with invisible illnesses.
I have more illnesses and diseases than I can even count. 
I have been chronically sick for 5 years, and bed bound/ feeding tube dependent for the last 2.
For the first few years of my illness, I spent SO much time hiding the physical signs of my illness. Spending so much time on my make up to hide the effects of the illnesses on my appearance, spending what little money I had on wigs and extensions to hide my balding and thinning hair, and wasting my precious energy in attempts to prevent the inevitable…
Because in everyone else’s mind, if you looked normal/pretty, you weren’t sick….and I tried SOO hard to believe that and make it come true.
Obviously, as my illness got worse, I cared less and less about my appearance. As of late, I’m so sick I can’t even bathe without assistance. I had posted the picture on the right on instagram, and received the comment “ Y would you post a  picture like. this you look like shit, do you know that?”
I have heard plenty of comments like that before. People wondering why I don’t do things about my appearance, pointing out how extremely pale I look, notice the bags under my eyes and tell me to get more sleep, suggest eating a hamburger due to how skinny I am, I’ve even had people question WHY I take pictures while I’m so sick, in the hospital, etc, and post them to social media, and why I don’t just wait until I’m better..
Because this is my life.
The picture on the right (no make up, sickly looking) is me. It is my life. I wake up in pain. My schedule revolves around pills. I see doctors more than my friends. I’ve had more surgeries than you’ve attended school years. 
I take pictures while I’m sick because I will not give up. I’m not going to “wait” until I’m better or “pretty” to ‘live life’. I will document this difficult time of my life through pictures, social media and however else I feel necessary.
The first picture (full face of make up, healthy looking) was taken 4 days AFTER the other. It was 4 am, I was in too much pain too sleep, and all the comments about my appearance had finally gotten to me. I got out of bed and did a full face of make up. Before I got sick, I did that routine everyday in record time, without blinking an eye. It only took 30 minutes this night, but it took every ounce of energy that I had. 
I looked in the mirror and was overwhelmed with sadness. My pain was still there. My illnesses had not magically disappeared, and the migraine that had kept me from sleeping was still pounding against my skull.
But I looked healthy. I looked fine. And according to everyone else, a little make up, and I would be cured. Things would be better. I knew it wasn’t true, but it was still unusually difficult to stare at the healthy looking girl in the mirror and know the true horror that was going on inside her body. 
That is what having an invisible illness feels like. You look fine on the outside, but you know the truth. When YOU look in the mirror, you see the real reflection; the pain, the endless symptoms, medications, the real you. That behind the seamlessly normal facade, your body is literally killing itself.
Having an invisible illness is incredibly difficult. If you know someone fighting this type of illness, please be understanding. Don’t belittle their pain due to lack of physical symptoms or outward appearance. Don’t ask them to change their appearance, or actions just to make you comfortable, because you have no idea how difficult it may be for them. But most of all, just be there for them. Be a friend. Try to understand, be there for the hard times, and be there for the good times. Just be there, because they need you more than you could ever know.
Www.whitneyhomer.blogspot.com

chronically—courageous:

Illness isn’t always visible or obvious. Sometimes people can look healthy on the outside, but be dying on the inside.
My name is Whitney, and I have battled with invisible illnesses.
I have more illnesses and diseases than I can even count.
I have been chronically sick for 5 years, and bed bound/ feeding tube dependent for the last 2.

For the first few years of my illness, I spent SO much time hiding the physical signs of my illness. Spending so much time on my make up to hide the effects of the illnesses on my appearance, spending what little money I had on wigs and extensions to hide my balding and thinning hair, and wasting my precious energy in attempts to prevent the inevitable…

Because in everyone else’s mind, if you looked normal/pretty, you weren’t sick….and I tried SOO hard to believe that and make it come true.

Obviously, as my illness got worse, I cared less and less about my appearance. As of late, I’m so sick I can’t even bathe without assistance. I had posted the picture on the right on instagram, and received the comment “ Y would you post a  picture like. this you look like shit, do you know that?”

I have heard plenty of comments like that before. People wondering why I don’t do things about my appearance, pointing out how extremely pale I look, notice the bags under my eyes and tell me to get more sleep, suggest eating a hamburger due to how skinny I am, I’ve even had people question WHY I take pictures while I’m so sick, in the hospital, etc, and post them to social media, and why I don’t just wait until I’m better..

Because this is my life.
The picture on the right (no make up, sickly looking) is me. It is my life. I wake up in pain. My schedule revolves around pills. I see doctors more than my friends. I’ve had more surgeries than you’ve attended school years.
I take pictures while I’m sick because I will not give up. I’m not going to “wait” until I’m better or “pretty” to ‘live life’. I will document this difficult time of my life through pictures, social media and however else I feel necessary.

The first picture (full face of make up, healthy looking) was taken 4 days AFTER the other. It was 4 am, I was in too much pain too sleep, and all the comments about my appearance had finally gotten to me. I got out of bed and did a full face of make up. Before I got sick, I did that routine everyday in record time, without blinking an eye. It only took 30 minutes this night, but it took every ounce of energy that I had.

I looked in the mirror and was overwhelmed with sadness. My pain was still there. My illnesses had not magically disappeared, and the migraine that had kept me from sleeping was still pounding against my skull.

But I looked healthy. I looked fine. And according to everyone else, a little make up, and I would be cured. Things would be better. I knew it wasn’t true, but it was still unusually difficult to stare at the healthy looking girl in the mirror and know the true horror that was going on inside her body.

That is what having an invisible illness feels like. You look fine on the outside, but you know the truth. When YOU look in the mirror, you see the real reflection; the pain, the endless symptoms, medications, the real you. That behind the seamlessly normal facade, your body is literally killing itself.

Having an invisible illness is incredibly difficult. If you know someone fighting this type of illness, please be understanding. Don’t belittle their pain due to lack of physical symptoms or outward appearance. Don’t ask them to change their appearance, or actions just to make you comfortable, because you have no idea how difficult it may be for them. But most of all, just be there for them. Be a friend. Try to understand, be there for the hard times, and be there for the good times. Just be there, because they need you more than you could ever know.

Www.whitneyhomer.blogspot.com